So, I was hauling around that big yellow wagon, bins and baskets loaded with garden extras and the farmer’s market ‘uglies” checking on my community, and their little gardens. off loading extras/uglies and onboard new extras, and of course running errands, “could you run this by Ms. So-and-so’s…” in between.

The goal is to go home empty, but the baskets keep refilling.

This old man standing under the shade of orange/gold maple leaves near one of my “stops” [turns out this was Uncle to So-and-so] (which doubled his ancient in my mind from senior to grand senior.)  He asked what I was doing

So I rattled out the spiel. His face pulls back a hard skeptic, “You?”

Steps closer in challenge, “Let me see your hands.” 

He took hold of the mole claws my hands morph into by harvest season. He rubbed his rough thumb across my hardened palm, and condescending smirk melted to a chagrin that set off the belly chuckle erupting laughter and whoops. “Woah, girl! You don’t lie! You back it in calluses!”   

I guess that’s why I use the word so often.  

Highest praise from a stranger and I could actually SEE it about myself.

That validation let me know other people could see it too.  

Some of the really wise even know what it’s worth.

People can see the work, the Calluses…  I’d add mosquito bites, mud, and sweat stains. Wearing my boots to shreds and gluing them back together. Hoping it doesn’t rain because the duct tape doesn’t hold the water out and that ridiculous splurt sound my boot makes with every other step just has me giggling down the road. 

Yes, everyone can see it.

I might be a bit different. So What?

It’s not something I try to hide. 

I couldn’t ……even if I tried, 

….it all comes out eventually.

I don’t KNOW if I have secrets that I would be afraid coming out into the light.

I am really transparent… blunt even.

I get it’s not for everyone and it doesn’t have to be.

Pretty simple, if you ask me.

The problem with secrets especially the dark ones, they crave light, like moths to flame.

They’ll tear you apart from the inside trying to escape.  

What’s that? Minimize.. Dismiss, dark cynicism, “Everybody’s mask slips.”          

well…   

>>>>>>>>> Except for people who never wore one.  

They sweat too hard from all the work of it…

Faces wrinkled like roadmaps of their travels…

Eventually wise crows feet crinkle the eyes, 

which shows the ability to smile and laugh through it all, 

no matter what life throws at you. 

I took a long look 

at my hands that day 

thinking about that.