Hello Warrior,

I am impressed with your restraint, your determination to keep and maintain your privacy and peace of mind.   It’s so hard to do. Thank you for modelling this!

I’m not often casual. (not around people that much) I can be professional, but I don’t have the gear or tech to keep up, and I’m Unemployable, Permanent Total.  My mind got shattered with the Ex husband(s) etc.

I find I have to explain my principles on this one (Input/output boundaries) every time I am in a new grouping of people.

I am personal -feels disingenuous otherwise.  AND  I am Very Private.

>> Me:Share-screening my POV explaining why my GUI is custom built<<  lol….

Yeah, I “get that people don’t get me.” >>> I had my whole life to figure that out, being TOLD all the time.  

I don’t care. I’m still gonna be me, ‘cause nobody else does me better.

Discipline is hard to explain to people who make up excuses not to have any.

One part is a remnant of Toxic House Rules: Never let the secrets out.

The Ultimate Guide to Early Maladaptive Schemas [Full List]

When I live alone, (without being forced to Hide some one else’s secrets ) >>> this protection shifted from others to SELF.

Let’s watch again in slow-motion:

Instead of protecting Them and Their Deceits/Violations/Abuses, 

>>> Now all that effort comes back to protecting ME and My Truths. 

Walkthrough on Private View: I call it the thresholds of discretion.  

Yard, driveway, doorstep, front door.  See how this goes, right? 

I’ve got this little pedestal box on the curb, by law only the postal service and home owner have a right to open and interact with contents.  Social Contract all my neighbors seem to abide by, making it conspicuous when strangers don’t.  

Yard: My rear neighbor had to find out they were not allowed in my back yard with a camera no matter how much they “Love Bugs.’ 

No.  Not without my permission, my consent.  Reminder: WE have rights. (….  and I have dangerous plants, random holes and trip hazards that may or may not have been placed there on purpose… ijs.)

I suspect if one is willing to violate a person’s rights, that they are open to the same treatment in their own lives.

Complicit in culture of violating as modality, thus enabling the violations upon themselves as part of a “cool-guy/girl” code of conduct or social contract. Group Thinking Imposed/Projected without consent. (aka shared delusion)

I decline the offer.

(Forgive trespass, as those who forgive, etc… and that bit about cheeks… )

From the bronze “eye for an eye era”… yet… Still NOT OUT-MODED. (fist bump JC)

Let me lay it out straight since you got it all twisted.  

Principles work PREEMPTIVELY.

You don’t violate, because you are not okay with being violated. 

You behave/model what you want to receive. 

It is NOT for the violator to cry victim, (demand forgiveness) of the Actions they chose to inflict on others. 

DARVO.

Back to thresholds:

Front Door:  What goes on inside does not spill out into the yard in a dramatic neighbor recruitment display…   >>Unless there is REAL harm, threat, injury, that requires the EMERGENCY services.   (aka self containment, self control, self Discipline)

If I am not inviting people into the house, 

>>> Then they do not need to know what is happening in the house. 

Follow this framework into each room. 

Do I Need/Want to know what happened in my class-mates/co-workers bathroom that morning? Maybe a doctor needs to know. Maybe their house-mates.  Why does your car pool need to know?  Why is it a key topic after work lounging with friends? 

In this era of Germ Phobic Hyper-Awareness >>> Signs are posted everywhere, “Wash Your Hands.”                Shit Talk.Talking shit.Potty mouth.

This is about Mental Health Hygiene.  

We used to call it manners, decorum, etiquette, and politeness.  I call it discretion. 

About my Bedroom:

If you are not invited INTO it, you will not KNOW.

If you have left it, You’re not invited Back.

If I have left it, I am not returning.

I don’t invite EVERYONE in there.  I don’t make it Everyone’s Business. It is Not the gossip in My Friend Groups. 

[Most of my friend groups are Support Groups, Motivation and Advocacy, Self Growth (science, art, history, psychology, publication, gaming, 3d, etc)]

Bedroom Continued:

I actually want to Protect what happens in that space.  

I see it as a healing space. (rest, sleep, recuperation, recovery.)

I see it as a sacred space…  >>> honoring the access to the level of intimacy and vulnerability. 

Exchanging stories, pillow talk, caring, sharing and Passions. 

It’s a very different kind of love expressed in that room. 

As a Topic it is deserving of respect.

AND exclusive to the One person, I invite

AND He will shield it too.

True Love is worth honoring.

Maladaptive Notes: https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/early-maladaptive-schemas/