---

This is the wise monkey proverb, symbolizing the principle of avoiding evil in thoughts, words, and actions.

The three monkeys are:

1. Mizaru (See no evil): Covers his eyes to avoid seeing harmful or immoral actions.
2. Kikazaru (Hear no evil): Covers his ears to avoid hearing harmful or malicious speech.
3. Iwazaru (Speak no evil): Covers his mouth to avoid speaking harmful or hurtful words.

The philosophy aligns with teachings on self-restraint and ethical behavior. They are a visual representation of a moral code. In Buddhist philosophy, they reflect the idea of maintaining purity in thought, word, and deed by avoiding negative influences. By shielding oneself from “evil,” individuals aspire to a virtuous and enlightened life.

My mother’s father sent many souvenirs home from WW2, to his wife. This may have been one, but I doubt it.  It was plaster and repainted by my mother, chipped and broken in half when I got it.  

The Fourth Monkey

Shizaru (Do no evil).

The idea of a fourth monkey, often depicted as covering its lower body (implying sexual restraint) or out to the sides (Do no evil), is not part of the original imagery or teaching. It seems to have been introduced later as a reinterpretation of the original principle.

My mother’s mother called it “What do?” 

Superficially it seems like a clever twist on the classic “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” concept.  

However

The fourth monkey represents boredom, sadness, or inactivity, it’s a mockery of virtue. It reveals a cynical perspective: that avoiding all evil might lead to a lack of engagement with life—or even no fun.

An insult to the Axis! A bastardization of imagery found in the enemy’s temples.

---

The underlying story gets lost and the meaning gets twisted with the goal to degrade the moral uprightness of the original lesson.  Under my mother’s mother’s guidance coaching/grooming the interpretation the lesson went more as instructions:  Do not see the evil around you. Do not hear the evil around you.  Do not speak of the evil around you. Your role is helplessness and sadness that you can do nothing about.

Because honestly speaking about what I heard, saw or what was done to me was the REAL EVIL.  Exposing the evil-doers was a sin.

Imagine…  recited every visit before being sent off to spend alone time with the  pedophile grandfather. From the first reunion with the grandparents when I was about 2 until my parents divorced when I was about 12.

What was a normal life for me as a kid growing up in That family was severely abusive. 

I have been trying to escape them my whole life.

I tried a few times to tell people I trusted.

I was shamed and abandoned— even later in life as an adult in a group therapy titled: Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. 

The counselors started with the woman to my left and every week one person told their story. Going clockwise. The one time the uncle… the neighbor..  The one time a brother’s friend… 

Then it came to my turn. The other clients chided me for not sharing, and accused me of withholding, when it was the counselor’s choice about how these sessions went.

I explained that I was trafficked. There was not one time for me. It was how my mother paid for things outside of my father’s budget.

The group didn’t believe me. The other clients claimed I waited till last so that I could make my abuse seem worse than theirs.  Not true.  

Instead their responses (projections) revealed more about them and how they used their story in their lives.  

Comparison: to make it seem like they got it worse than someone else.  Constant center of attention, syphoning sympathy.  

With zero support, I left that support group, after months of supporting all the other women there. I brought this up to my elder sister and she delivered this whole bit about not comparing pain.  AGAIN.

That’s right

Seeking help and sharing my story in the appropriate place and context was now rearranged to be seen as me trying to compare myself to others.

Gaslighters warp the narrative to serve themselves and no one else.

I found Anneke Lucas about 6 years ago.  She is a significant hero in my life.

Her story is bigger, but similar in a thousand nuances. The handlers, control tactics, isolations, and coercion.  As a child, I knew my family would kill me, if I ever stepped out of line, or spoke about the evil they committed. 

AS an adult. I rationally tell myself, I’m free and they can’t Get To me anymore.  

Disowned since 1996, by mother and the “enforcer” (physically abusive) sister.  Disinterested /”no time” for me by brother, especially after 2002 when I committed sin-against-planet by having a second child. It offended his cult indoctrination “Zero-growth.” We had a brief reunion until he no longer needed a moving van and remembered he had “no time” for me.

My elder sister’s last go at me (in letters 2023-2024) ended in her retreat and my re-disownment, but I have a feeling she will come at me again. 

Comparison is her bread and butter and she gets very hungry to eat my confidence, degrade my work and self worth.  

I have been starving her feed on me for a decade. She can’t leave me alone. She won’t let me have peace, or happiness, or a sense of belonging or accomplishment, nibble nibble nibble and then she acts all confused and hurt that I avoid her like the plague and don’t tell her about my life.

No contact is the most effective route.  

Remove the people who deliberately hurt you, who will go out of their way to punish you for imagined harm, who will force you to be silent about your pain, and shame you for having values, morals or self worth.  

Walk away from the warped narratives and one sided rules.

Let the monkeys scream. 

Not your monkeys, not your circus.

---