Thank you,
for letting me know
that you are “the bigger person.”
Hey robot… is there a bigger word for oxymoron? Something that explains this flex projection?
[o.o] I appreciate you calling that out – you’re right that there’s something ironic about claiming to be “the bigger person” in a way that’s… well, not particularly magnanimous.
For what you’re describing, a few terms come to mind:
Self-contradiction or performative contradiction – when the act of saying something undermines the very claim being made. Like saying “I’m the bigger person” in a way that’s petty or self-aggrandizing.
Hubris – excessive pride or self-confidence, especially when claiming moral superiority.
Sanctimony or self-righteousness – the quality of acting morally superior while demonstrating the opposite through that very act.
There isn’t really a single “bigger word” that perfectly captures this specific flavor of ironic projection, but performative contradiction probably comes closest to what you’re describing – where the performance itself contradicts the claim being performed.
The flex itself is kind of the problem, right? Truly being “the bigger person” would mean not needing to announce it.
^-.-^ Kinda of my thinking.
Did I not explain the Karpman Triangle? The invitation to tango…DECLINED.
I have a different Dance now.
(watch this move… look at me boogie… get down get down get down…!)
[o.o] Exactly – and that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?
The phrase “it takes two to tango” acknowledges mutual participation in conflict or interaction. So if someone’s declaring themselves “the bigger person,” they’re often trying to exit that dance while simultaneously… still very much dancing. Still engaged. Still making it about the dynamic between the two people.
The real “bigger person” move would be to just… stop dancing. No announcement, no moral scorekeeping, no need to establish who’s elevated above whom.
You’re highlighting that the very act of proclaiming superiority over a conflict keeps you in that conflict. It’s participation disguised as transcendence.
Also: The Karpman Drama Triangle is perfect for this.
In the Drama Triangle, people rotate through three roles:
- Victim (“Poor me, look what they did”)
- Persecutor (“It’s all their fault”)
- Rescuer (“Let me fix this/save you”)
The “I’m the bigger person” declaration is often someone trying to exit to the Rescuer position – claiming moral high ground and attempting to rise above the drama. But here’s the thing: they’re still in the triangle. They’re still defining themselves in relation to the conflict and the other person.
The Rescuer role feels virtuous but it’s still enmeshed in the dynamic. It often carries an unspoken superiority: “I’m mature enough to handle this, unlike you.”
True exit from the Drama Triangle means stepping outside entirely – no longer needing to be Victim, Persecutor, or Rescuer. No announcement needed. Just… leaving the dance floor.
So yeah, “I’m the bigger person” is often just Rescuer energy with a side of Persecutor judgment, possibly papering over some Victim feelings. Still tangoing.
^-.-^ Disagree. It’s not stop dancing.
It’s to stop dancing to THAT manipulation
[dance monkey]
Stop dancing with THEM.
Stop assuming the role in the Karpman Drama Triangle.
Recognize bait as bait,
recognize trolls when they be trolling.
It IS that Easy.
Let’s not taint tango anymore!
Henceforth we call it Karpman Trap or… Dey BE TRollin’
[o.o] Monodrame Triangle
^-.-^ hmm… that’ll do!
Personally I LOVE to dance. I mean the FUN kind with music and all…
I was one of those bouncy babies that felt the BEAT, got up on my feet before anyone thought I was ready for walking.
REAL Problem child, learning how to clog and break dance the same year… we were supposed to choose a side. lol
Juvenile dance-linquent… found my way into dance clubs as soon as I realized where my student bus pass could take me…! (8th grade)
Dancing is one of the most beautiful things we (humans) do together.
Wait… is that Monodrame a real thing? Or you just making stuff up again?
[o.o] Yes! It’s absolutely real, and it’s even better than I made it sound.
A monodrama is a theatrical or operatic piece played by a single actor or singer, usually portraying one character. Wikipedia The Russian symbolist Nikolai Evreinov developed the concept as “a dramatic representation of what passes in an individual mind” – where everything the audience witnesses on stage is portrayed from the mental state of the protagonist. Wikipedia
And here’s where it gets perfect for our purposes: the monodrama emerged alongside expressionism and the birth of psychoanalysis in Vienna. It’s described as “the era of the inner hell, of man’s dark forces” – where “the stage becomes a periscope of the soul.” Ensembleintercontemporain
So monodrame is a solo performance where the entire world is filtered through one person’s subjective perception, all their drama externalized for an audience.
That’s exactly what “I’m the bigger person” is – a one-person show where the speaker is simultaneously the hero, the narrator, and the only perspective that matters. The other person in the conflict becomes a prop in their internal drama.
^-.-^ Love it when I find the right word… er well when Robot finds it and it fits just about perfect!
We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind, cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, well they’re no friends of mine.
Btw..
Special Anniversary coming up:
I’ve made it a goal to dance a bit everyday.
10 years dancing!
I am Grateful to be Alive!
Clean and Clear on ALL my Annuals!!
Update: I do have a cavity. No tartar or plaque! So still pretty good report card for 2025.
Traveler Chimiru 
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