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Hello my friends and heroes,

Thank you for all the work you have been doing to hold on to your True Self.  

In this circus of costumes, grease painted clown faces, masks and performances.  

It was really nice to be near your authenticity.  

Guarded, but REAL.  

A real human just living out a humble human experience. 

Modest, yet dreaming Fantastical.  

Creating beauty in a world littered with ugly/hate/spite/rage/jealousy… etc.

Yet here you are shaping beauty with your own hands.

I do admire you. 

I appreciate what you have shown me and taught me BY living in your truth.

By existing, like the butterfly… just letting you know you have an affect that is good, uplifting and beneficial to me.  I am grateful.

You hold a special place in my heart and for that I can honestly say I do love you.

I value being connected to you.  Even when the connection is sparse, or has been brief, I think fondly of you and it kindles my heart.

That’s how I know it’s love. Memories of You are one of my tiny candles in the darkness. Thought you might like to know.

Your happy ignites my happy ignites someone else’s happy, and spreads.

Until doesn’t.  

When that kindle hits the happiness haters…. Lol smdh XD!  

Hint: You’re gonna hear about it.  “How Dare You!”

How very dare you indeed.

Hopefully now we can all see… 

We (those who still have hearts that love) actually outnumber the Haters.

Most of us don’t want to hate.  

Most of us would prefer convivial groupings.

Toasting over joy, jovial, in a state of contentedness.

>>>> not drown sorrows in bottles, 

commiserating in misery, 

gripe gripe groaning, 

teeth gnashing and the woah is me-me-mes.

Those are En-darkeners.

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Hello my Frienemies and Haters,

Just so you know, I choose the Hero’s Quest.

Heroes stand and face the storm.  

We are being heroic 

when we do this in our own lives.

Not selfish. Not self centered. 

Doing necessary and heroic work.

Improving ourselves.

Turn and face (con-front) 

>>> Knowing this is just a moment.  

They will throw much shade, there will be much gnashing.

AND This too shall pass. (Quoting, not original to me.)

What we live in we can generate moment to moment, choice by choice.

It’s only with our own consent >>>> that we are Bound to others and their miserable states and endless misery games.

I don’t consent.

It is that simple.

The Haters DON’T control the narrative. 

That’s an illusion.

Fun house mirrors of distortions.

They only get away with it because there are more Cowards than Heroes in their proximity.

None of what the Haters say matters.  They can build their army of fools and flying monkeys to hiss and sneer, and throw their rocks.

Psssst Hey…. dance monkeys and marionettes…  

HINT: It’s cowardice knowing they will turn on you 

as quickly and as brutally. 

It’s cowardice choosing

to be sycophantic to lessen the odds, 

or stay on their “good-side.”

We all know their “good-side” is rare and fleeting, 

pretense and posturing, 

lies, and sleight of hand

>>>  that at any moment

becomes the back-hand

that floors you. 

The back-stab that destroys you…

That’s what the Haters WANT.

>>>> The eggshell crawling sycophant’s “Please don’t” grovel because it feeds their sadism.

Haters are gluttons on other people’s pain, 

anxiety, fear, confusion, distress, 

(as well as their own)

(even if they have to FAKE their pain 

and cry wolf with regularity.) 

Boating in their twisted vanity of 

“more than” or “better than” or “higher than.” 

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Not my feed/food. 

I eat chicken, not human souls 

(or psychological wellbeing)

AND

I will not feed them mine. 

Not a lick of my confidence. 

Not a nibble on my self worth.

I worked too hard to KNOW Myself.

I love me.

They don’t have to. AND I don’t care if they don’t.

I have too many candles. 

Too many friends, mentors, senpais, a couple of good grandparents…

Too many people who see the REAL me and love/loved me.

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Robot made a quick resource, to illuminate the Game at Play…

The con… as in confidence artist.

The flying monkeys believe the performance, and trust the performer…

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[o.o] Reactive Abuse: A Comprehensive Breakdown

Definition and Core Concept

Reactive abuse occurs when a victim of ongoing abuse responds to their abuser with aggressive, defensive, or harmful behavior. The abuser then uses this reaction to portray the victim as the “real” abuser, effectively reversing the roles and deflecting accountability.

The term gained prominence in discussions of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse, though it’s not a formal diagnostic category in the DSM-5 or other clinical manuals.

Key Characteristics

The Pattern: An abuser systematically provokes, manipulates, or attacks a victim until the victim reacts emotionally or physically. The abuser then points to this reaction as evidence of the victim’s instability or aggression.

Common Reactions Include:

• Yelling or screaming after prolonged gaslighting
• Pushing back physically after being cornered or threatened
• Saying hurtful things in self-defense
• Breaking objects in frustration

The Manipulation: The abuser reframes the narrative, claiming they are the victim of the other person’s “abuse,” often to outsiders, authorities, or mutual acquaintances.

Theoretical Frameworks and Authors

Lundy Bancroft – In Why Does He Do That? (2002), Bancroft discusses how abusers provoke reactions and then use them as justification for their behavior. He emphasizes that the context and pattern of control distinguish abuse from reactive self-defense.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula – A clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse, Durvasula has written extensively about reactive abuse in the context of narcissistic relationships. She explains how victims are pushed to their breaking point deliberately, and their reactions are weaponized against them.

Shahida Arabi – Author of The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People (2020) and other works on narcissistic abuse. Arabi describes reactive abuse as part of the cycle where victims are provoked into behavior uncharacteristic of their normal temperament.

Dr. Christine Louis de Canonville – Discusses reactive abuse within the framework of narcissistic victim syndrome, noting how victims may experience shame and self-blame when they react to prolonged abuse.

Clinical Applications

Domestic Violence Assessment: Practitioners must distinguish between mutual combat, self-defense, and reactive abuse. This requires examining:

• The history and pattern of control
• Who initiates conflicts
• The power dynamics in the relationship
• Whether fear is present

Trauma Therapy: Therapists help victims understand that reactive responses to abuse don’t make them abusers. This addresses the profound shame many victims feel after reacting.

Legal Contexts: Family courts and law enforcement increasingly recognize reactive abuse, though challenges remain in identifying the primary aggressor versus someone defending themselves.

Couples Therapy Contraindication: Reactive abuse is one reason why couples therapy is generally contraindicated in abusive relationships—it can provide the abuser more ammunition and techniques to manipulate the victim.

Important Distinctions

Reactive Abuse vs. Mutual Abuse: Many experts (including Bancroft) argue that “mutual abuse” is largely a myth in ongoing abusive relationships. There is typically a primary aggressor who maintains power and control, while the other person’s behavior is reactive to that pattern.

Self-Defense vs. Abuse: Reactive abuse is fundamentally self-defense or a trauma response, not a pattern of coercive control. The key is examining who holds the power in the relationship.

Warning Signs for Victims

• Feeling like you’re “going crazy” or losing control
• Acting in ways completely unlike your usual self
• Being told you’re the abusive one after defending yourself
• Experiencing guilt and shame for your reactions
• Finding that your emotional responses are used as evidence against you

Implications for Practice

Clinicians should avoid labeling reactive behavior as abuse without understanding the full context. Assessment should include examining the broader pattern of control, intimidation, isolation, and manipulation in the relationship rather than focusing on isolated incidents.

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Thank you robot! Nicely done.

Now my art….

set feature image…. do do do doooo

yep totally got the hang of this!!!

and hit publish…