Most of them made it all the way here
>>> to the time I promised I would give myself.
To get my head right, because I knew
(Brace yourself grammar police…)
I knew
they done messed me up.
Indecision, excessive worry, depression, unclear thinking…yk Symptoms
Then I go out into the real world and I seem to have no problem making choices, not worrying much, feeling in a fine mood, making witty jokes, remembering names…
Then home, and heavy, sad, mopey, nothing is right and nothing works and nothing is good enough.
Step outside, sunshine butterflies.
Step inside Into Their >> Zone of Influence <<
I described it as a distortion zone to my cognitive processing therapist, (she might use it in her book… 😉 )
I explained a bit about how radios/radio waves work/s, and why signals don’t come through straight when the receiver is near high power lines.
Nerd flex: [Aviation electronic technician-maintain and repair communication systems(radio,) radar, satellite, and doppler systems.] (Yes. I scored high on the ASVAB. I spent a great deal of time near my brother/defender who became an engineer in college. I should give some credit to my first step father who allowed me to put a little bunk in his HAM Radio room, when Mom “had custody.” There is a lot a kid can learn from a man soldering in his boxers at 3 a.m. right next to her bunk.
Back to the distortion zone, Whose Reality is the Real Reality?
>>> Out of nowhere the gassssslight, accusations, recriminations, the grudges you thought were resolved all suddenly churned to surface because >>> You are in trouble. You did something wrong. >>> = Induced Panic. Amygdala hijacking.
And
coming from my toxic family home where Threats were not Empty, but the Promises were…
this meant there was going to be physically in pain >>> soon.
Not just the emotional pain from crazy coming at you for no real reason… and the enabling excuse maker nearby….(triangulation) to verify you didn’t hear, see, feel anything real and you better not say a word about it. That is grooming and conditioning and is NOT REALITY. It’s ABUSE.
This is so simple
It’s sad…
And in the age of google it offends me- such slothful intellectualism.
(In teacher talk; higher pitch, slower *being sure to pronounce each syllable cor-rect-ly:)
Type In These Words:
Health-y Com-mun-ica-tion Skills
(“tips and techniques” in prompt helps too.)
[Hint: if you’re screaming, cussing, calling people names, telling them they are worthless… YOU ARE NOT practicing healthy communications skills.]
Healthy Boundaries
Respecting the Rights and Dignity of Others (“how to” in prompt if this is new information.)
That’s the part that gets me XD !? when the Excuse is,
“I just didn’t know it was wrong to do that.”
Like it’s HARD TO LEARN… lol smh
The rest of us call it being Decent, Honest, Fair, Kind…
Am I the only one who read the Highlights magazines in grade school…
yk .. with Goofus and Gallant?
Am I the only one who Understood we (humans) want to be more like Gallant than Goofus?
In the gallant zone (reality) things work. People are thoughtful, respectful, and considerate. In the goofus zone (distortion) nothing works. People are unreliable, sulky, and self centered.
There is a parable.. Lets get Robot, he hasn’t added anything in a while.
[o.o] This story is known as “The Allegory of the Long Spoons” and has multiple cultural origins. It’s most commonly attributed to Rabbi Haim of Romshishok, though it has become part of the folklore of several cultures including Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, and Christian traditions.
The chopsticks version you’re describing is the Chinese variation of the parable, while the medieval European version features a bowl of stew with long spoons.
The core message remains the same across all versions: in hell, people with unwieldy utensils (whether long spoons or chopsticks) starve because they only try to feed themselves; in heaven, people with the same utensils thrive because they feed each other.
Since the parable exists in multiple cultural traditions and has been passed down orally, there’s no single definitive written source or author. It’s described as an old Zen parable in some telling’s of Celestial Peach, while it has been passed on by various religious leaders including Jews, Christians, Hindus, and Buddhists.
^-.-^ Nice thank you!! I was saying…
Centuries… nay Millenna! Tens of thousands of years developing ideas/ideologies, theologies, philosophies, laws, discourses on the topic of how we should conduct ourselves when civilized…And some folks still haven’t figured this out on a personal level, in smaller groups like the workplace, social clubs, or even more obviously home and family.
It’s astonishing!
An idea as old as noodles and some fools still don’t get it.
I took notes.
They go back to 6th grade at least. XD
Proof of who I am, what I believe, how I behave, what I think about, how my mind works.
Most of my notes made it to this point in my life.
The Art: This is my psych shelf.
All the letters I’ve ever received.
All the communications from former friends and former family.
All my psych notes, some from classes 10th grade and college, some from therapy sessions… notes from lectures, articles… And I have a few bins and shelves of journals not seen in image.
That’s just what I sorted so far.
I started a new psych library (books) as my last collection was left at my former home-life.
I would say I am READY to have a conversation about my mental health.
It just seems like no one is ready to have these conversations with me.
Most especially my toxic family, abusers…lol my exes.
Isn’t it ironic don’t you think?
Traveler Chimiru 
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