Or Answer a Senpai’s Question…..
Now there is more!!
Reader: I simply find it very hard to judge other people.
^-.-^ Is hard the right word? Lets try “shameful, guilt ridden, as though I am seeing myself as superior, full of one’s self.”
Repulsion or revulsion.
Uncomfortable at minimum.
I remember Those People…. Those Who Judge.
>>>Been a Target<<<
My whole damned life.
I remember the people pointing and condemning, throwing stones, calling bad names, spitting, shoving, tripping me up, taking random punches, mocking, taunting, humiliating.
(That was Home-Life)
I remember pledging to myself NEVER BE One Of Them.
I don’t jump on the hate-train.
I take myself a bit more seriously.
I see myself as someone smart enough to look into a situation,
before I come to superficial hate-filled judgements,
and start acting out toward the Target (of the day.)
This Is Behavior… speak words, text words, listen and add fuel. Gossip, hearsay.. naysay
…little peck..little cheap cheap.
[This is the UGLY behavior of Those Who Judge Exhibit/Display/Broadcast.]
If I call it out…Look!!
It’s gross and ugly and hateful…
Am I really judging?
But >>> the people acting out Might Feel Judged…
GOOD.
This is good.
When people avoid acting out because they will feel judged…
This IS A GOOD Thing!!
Reader: What standard do I apply?
^-.-^ Good vs Evil too basic, needs nuance? Okay how about these:
Appropriate vs IN-appropriate
Stabilizing vs DE-stabilizing
IN-structive vs DE-structive
Regulated vs DIS-regulated
Balanced vs UN-Balanced
I can keep going… It’s almost like it’s ENCODED in the language itself.
Imagine that!
Reader:What measuring instrument do I use, and which factors does it take into account?
(The classic problem of operationalization. [had to check this term^^])
^-.-^ yep never heard that word for it. Give me a sec on the vocabulary update, meanwhile and move on, as not to chase that rabbit down the wikipedia hole that opened!
(hint:… you gave away the diversion tactic, with the rabbit ears. ^^ )
Nope, gonna try the typing thing for a bit. No rabbit holes today. TY
Measuring, I laid out a case for merit, last letter.
Let’s propose we start defining what the high bar is… and moving toward the next rung… UP.
High bar = being the best we can attain at the moment.
Be real-istic.
What can we improve…
Tool : SMART GOALS
[o.o] Doran’s original list (1981):
- S — Specific: target a specific area for improvement
- M — Measurable: quantify an indicator of progress
- A — Assignable: specify who will do it
- R — Realistic: state what can be achieved given available resources
- T — Time-related: specify when the result can be achieved Project Smart
Note that the original A was Assignable, not Achievable/Attainable — that came later.
^-.-^ Yep. Where I Learned It…
This might have been at one of the Chamber of Commerce’s lectures/luncheons I used to attend. You’d be surprised at how many great lectures come with luncheons… “Professional Development” – business hours hence lunch
“Adult Education” – evening hours often with light dinners, or plenty of finger-food.
“Grand Openings” – (also affiliated with the Chamber of Commerce) often have bar-b-ques! Hot
dog’s and burgers usually! Some businesses will go all out and bring the chicken leg quarters and BBQ sauce!!
IN-Better-ment is Better than Em-bitter-ment
Factors to account.
Lets see, on a personal level, back to our Senses.. All 5
Use accurate honest descriptions.
I see… and it could be….
Example: Described as >> Run down “Blighted” neighborhood, vacant lot.
I see overgrown vacant lot and know it could be a dogpark, community flower garden, and eventually a community food garden, once the soil is healed.
What is the argument to keep the lot overgrown?
If looking through the Lense of real estate, (money lenses are green, (covet envy thing, my guess..)
[There are so many other lenses Cultures can look through to clear-ify or F.O.G.-ify (fear obligation guilt)]
Tools: Impact Reports, again measured and merit based. (soil improvement involves testing and recording) (capture the numbers, visitors per day)
Testimonials of those impacted.
Tool: First hand reports
>>>> as opposed to hear-say, or he-said she-said, “my cousin’s sister’s in-law’s husband’s nephew heard from a neighbor that….” << Recognize unreliable sources.
Heard it thru the grapevine is more sour grapes than wine.
Another filter, giving it time.
It takes a moment to age…. For all facts to come out.<<<
Also look at it from another angle.
I call it “if the table were turned.”
If the roles were reversed (receiving vs broadcasting) or vice versa (acting vs absorbing.)
Before judging … what would I feels/see/hear/ … from where they are.
Clock all the limitations from their POV.
Those are Their limitations, you live by Yours.
I am pretty tough. I can take some harsh criticism, firm reprimand, and even unfair punishment. (Bootcamp helps teach tolerance to that kind of treatment.) I refuse to re-calibrate backwards. (de-grade/ accept the F when you earned the A.)
Upgrade installation was successful and life-enhance-ing.
I strongly believe it is counter-to-survival to be fragile, and overly dependent on “controlled”/(controlling?) environments.
The World is hard, harsh, punishing, unfair. Gravity works here.
We (humans) need to be tough to survive… Every hurricane we are reminded of our impermanence.
Earth is not the place to live expecting to be insulated from harm or distress, discomfort, ill-ease, much less sheltered from disaster, catastrophe, or trauma.
That imaginary insulating Utopia is not >>>>planet-side.
I’ve spent way too much time hanging around astronomers, geologists, and volcanologists to imagine any rock is safe. Completely miraculous in the greater scheme of galaxy orbiting bodies that This planet has LIFE.
Which might be the whole point to it. Life.
The meaning/purpose/point of Life, is life, to keep living through all the chaos. Continue bringing life forward. Adapt or die.
I hope we can pass on some better information.
More help-full… less help-less.
^^Reader: Am I judging only for myself – or also with the intention of sharing that judgment with others?
^-.-^ Situational awareness. Judge the shady characters in the dark alley??… Yes!!!!
(My friend may not get the “red touch yellow” as his country has 3 snakes and none of them are venomous…)
[o.o] That’s a great point! The rhyme “red touch yellow, kill a fellow” is specific to North America — it’s a mnemonic to distinguish the venomous coral snake from the harmless scarlet king snake.
^-.-^ it’s the Yellow. (Caution) Orange is Warning. Red is Danger.
A snake pops out of the grass… you will jump.
DO you warn others?
It is a decent thing to do.
Narcissist launches hate campaign… ((bc it’s Always Dark Triad or Cluster B… Well adjusted people… Mature adults don’t do this.)) Do you warn others?
This is tricky… Plato’s cave people …. Those who are okay with their captivity, endorse it, and enable it, hoping to one day be in the whip holding position… Those guys will kill you, before they cut the chains, check themselves, check reality… recognize toxic in themselves… purge the poisons and re-learn the world in fresh air…
You don’t get to >>> the conversations about how humanity could be better.
Not with people who can not/will not self reflect, see their wrongs, or even attempt to make amends… stuck in “This is how things are.” and can not find “This is how things could be.”
WE need to Build new bridges outside the cave (echo chambers of controlled/controlling people) and reconnect to our own sustainability and the ideologies that lead us to Better.
(Not Utopia) It doesn’t need to be perfect on conception. Marx was wrong. [Fallacious ideologies are venomous.] Those ideological chains are dependency… infantilism, allowing adults to remain immature too far into adult years. One more time… who paid Marx’s bills? Not Marx. Not incapable, unwilling. This is parasitic.
^^Reader:In other words: do I even aspire to be fair?
^-.-^ Fair is an odd variable to toss into the equation.
No. You have to survive. Ideally survive intact.
Scenario: Man approaching with machete. There is an appropriate reaction that does not include extending goodwill.
[Hint: escaped unharmed.]
One change in scenario: Outfit >> Man in a neon reflective vest with a hard hat, company logo t-shirt, jeans, and boots is approaching with a machete…
Assumption Now: Landscape Crew, verified by sound of chainsaws and tree limbs falling.
Both scenarios. You might be in a Danger Zone.
^^Reader: And who or what is the moral authority here?
^-.-^ Author-ity… author of rules around morality….
[o.o] Here are some influential authors and their key works on moral philosophy:
Ancient
- Aristotle – Nicomachean Ethics (virtue ethics)
- Plato – The Republic (justice and the good)
- Epicurus – writings on pleasure and the good life
Early Modern
- Immanuel Kant – Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals (deontology / duty-based ethics)
- John Stuart Mill – Utilitarianism (greatest good for the greatest number)
- Jeremy Bentham – Introduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation (utilitarianism)
- Thomas Hobbes – Leviathan (social contract, morality from self-interest)
- John Locke – Two Treatises of Government (natural rights)
- David Hume – A Treatise of Human Nature (moral sentimentalism)
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau – The Social Contract
Modern / Contemporary
- John Rawls – A Theory of Justice (fairness and justice)
- Peter Singer – Practical Ethics (utilitarian applied ethics)
- Alasdair MacIntyre – After Virtue (revival of virtue ethics)
- Friedrich Nietzsche – Beyond Good and Evil, On the Genealogy of Morality
- Simone de Beauvoir – The Ethics of Ambiguity (existentialist ethics)
- Carol Gilligan – In a Different Voice (ethics of care)
- Derek Parfit – Reasons and Persons, On What Matters
- Samuel Scheffler – writings on consequentialism and moral responsibility
Religious / Natural Law Tradition
- Thomas Aquinas – Summa Theologica (natural law)
- Augustine of Hippo – City of God
^-.-^ Literally.
Not sure if I’ve read a few of these….
It’s the ongoing chronicles of the evolution of human thought… as written.
We are not Done adding to the Discourse.
New Authors emerging everyday.
^^Reader: In terms of personality and the inner life: does the person in front of me have the right to an individual emotional life?
^-.-^ That question actually makes my skin crawl. Of course your inner world is yours. Of course you have a right to an internal emotional landscape AND you are not required to open it to any/every one.
When you decide to announce/broadcast your inner world it will be challenged and de-valued by a false author-ity who will overreach to remove said right.
The slang for it here is “Thought Policing.”
This phrase, I heard much about among atheists when complaining about Christians.
Apparently…
The Christians read minds, they know your sinful thoughts and JUDGE you.
So to get ahead of this … the atheist have to label and dismiss the Christian for what they are Projecting onto the Christians… while ironically mystifying and elevating a Christian’s (innate?) psychic capacity >> [probably “God-given” because Christians roll like that.]
It’s a fantastic mental/metaphysical/mystifying/magical-thinking complex stunt and maneuver.
Yep… actually heard that at a meet-up, for “open-minded/like-minded” etceteras.
If you “Identify as” “Intellectual,” high probability you bit the atheist bait.
Assumed they were right, because you were not well versed
>>> In The Over Arching Literature Of Human Moral Development<<<
Or concept misappropriation…
They point and throw stones claiming all “intellectuals” are atheist to force gullible/ignorant/begrudged into-in-step, to hate-fest and gnash teeth in sync.
[Kind of skipped what Jesus was teaching… huh?]
It’s the damnedest thing!
^^Reader: I would argue – mostly as a rhetorical question – that everyone has this right, and perhaps even more fundamentally than the right to free expression. Don’t children, for example, have the right to let themselves go emotionally where they feel safe, even if that can be exhausting for parents?
^-.-^ There is a difference between coddle and comfort.
Are you helping the child grow and overcome challenges?
Are you denying them necessary life-skills, such as facing failure, injury, accident and learning skills to adapt?
Are you letting the child regulate you by being un-regulated?
If so… You’re training a life-long manipulator that will hurt everyone who does not teach them to stop the behavior.
No Boundaries is wild un-ruley, destructive, violent, behaviors.
Feeling emotionally safe means boundaries. Limits. The goal is to raise well-adjusted adults, capable of handling what Life offers.
^^Reader: This leads to the question of maturity.
When do most people stop being a child – and do they ever fully?
^-.-^ My father was born in 1934. My mother was born in 1943.
My father’s generation was employ-able at 8th grade. General labor/ clerks.
High school was for people who planned to attend collegiate education, or people planning to enter trades and vocations, most schools had preparatory classes that lead to industries and lively-hoods later as adults, art, auto shop, woodworking, home economics (kitchen management, tailoring, child care.)
My mother’s generation (gentrified and mimicking collegiate culture by then) had purchasable identities around “TEEN-AGER.”
Brand new thing on planet Earth.
Prior to this children saw a direct line between themselves and their adult life. Farmer’s kids learned farming as soon as their body was big enough for the tasks.
Not Forced into…
following a route that has worked…
going backwards in time to the beginning of agriculture.
______There is a LINE in lineage______
It goes Forward and Backwards.
The “Boomer Teens” had shopping malls, sock hops, poodle skirts, record players, t.v. and radio shows and Fashion ofc!
The generations before my father’s (Victorian, Edwardian) was the end of Regal Rule.
This level of consumption was only accessible to the wealthy. Hedges, Green Lawns, and all.
Gentrification … wealthy people’s culture… now practiced as teen-ager right as valued consumer: Fear Of Missing Out! Only Live Once!
All the modern conveniences! New! And Brand New! And Just for you (teen girl/boy!)
We are just starting to see how bad things get when the market is aimed at Identity.
^^Reader: Is it healthy to silence the inner child entirely in the context of an “adult” conversation?
^-.-^ Inner child (Inside You >> The Adult) having an adult conversation.. That is when an adult keeps both hands on the steering wheel…
Grieving is the kids voice… “It hurt. It was bad.”
Assurance is the Adults voice, “I got you now.”
The Advocate voice, “This stops. It is inexcusable. Those people are monsters,” is not the wounded (victim) voice.
Further if adult conversations is about Adult content…
I firmly standing on the “children should not be exposed to adult sexual content, adult levels of gore, adult levels of psychological thiller/horror,” side of the argument.
….. Not in books, not in movies (radio shows) adult stories around the living room and Most especially not acted out and upon the child.
^^Reader: Doesn’t everyone, at times, have the right to openly express their feelings?
^-.-^ Again with the Rights… it might be an American thing…
Our Rights are ensured by our Creator.
Not a political party…
Founding Principles, established by the founding forefathers who brought forth a proposition..
And all…
The founders grounded rights in something prior to and above government — natural law, the Creator, inherent human dignity.
Citizenry means agreement to the principles.
There is a whole Bill about the function/responsibility/limitation of our government system.
Clear directions on how citizenry can amend (improve) and clarify laws.
Laws written to protect our “God-given” rights.
I know… it seems like a couple of decades the kids have been taught this whole victim narrative as alternate history about our oppression and the misandryist agenda to hate on white men, and men in general, and all men.
WE can not admire what these founding fathers did (hard work of others) and reflect on
>>> In The Over Arching Literature Of Human Moral Development<<<
Because it’s been trendy to “Ew Patriarchy…” as “intellectual” posturing.
Kid gloves?
[o.o] Aesthetic posturing — “ew patriarchy” as a social signal. A way of performing sophistication without doing the actual thinking. It’s tribal vocabulary, not analysis.
The irony is that the posturing version actually weakens legitimate critique. When everything becomes the patriarchy, nothing specific gets examined. It’s intellectually lazy dressed up as righteousness.
^-.-^ Ikr… I keep kicking misandry. Let’s move on… lol
At times. When is the appropriate time?
In my view, a business meeting is not the time/place/people to have an outpouring. How do your emotions apply to the meeting agenda/business agenda/company goals?
“Is there a second for the motion?”
Just a secondary emotion,
… of unprocessed grief and injury that the entire meeting has to stop and regulate…
Since the adult failed to bring professionalism?
So where? A place that is comfortable, with people who are comfortable talking about things that are uncomfortable. Therapy groups. Support groups. Among trusted friends.Recovery centers, recovery retreats…
And here’s a thought…
Places that recognize suffering as a human condition and offer solace, comfort, guidance, re-assurance, recovery, redemption… a path to salvation, lessons on how to bear the struggle, a community collaborating to uplift and inspire each other…
[Lol… the anit-christ-ians (atheist Christian Hater) are bracing… it’s like they see the punchline coming!!]
Hmmm… Those are called Churches!
^^Reader: And how does one learn to articulate that in a healthy, socially constructive way?
^-.-^ Recognizing where you are and why.
Let go of the world having to bend to you and remember how to bend to the world.
Choose discretion and healing, not drama displays and malingering.
Choose an appropriate place for appropriate expression.
Example from personal experience, my anger and pain comes out rhyming. My poetry is raw and intense. Not so much my lyrics… Song expressions come from a happier place (in my soul (inner world)) I can use poems for lyrics. (experimenting) My drawings with graphite expresses something very different than my inkwork, different than colored pencil, different than crayons…
What surprised me is when I finally learned to sew well enough to make my first quilt, O.O how bright and vibrant that medium pulls from me.
Do I want to spend more time writing heart breaking poems or making vibrant quilts? Not hard to see the down river impact… darkness increases and pulls under…. Brightness uplifts and warms…
As my friend, which would you rather have on a regular basis? My Doom Poetry? Or my bright warm quilt?
Personally, I want more bright days than dark ones.
Still … It was kind of nice to have those coffee shops where Open-mic poetry of depressed and disgruntled people celebrated co-misery-ating over fancy latte’s and scones.
Gone with the era…
Right place and time for that voice.
However it would be regression to go back to the maturity that kind of outpouring of expression fit my life and goals. Especially now that I see how quilts impact… >> It’s a better happy.
And back to Plato’s cavemen and the fight to die in the dark…
The cave crabs create a cacophony of clamor ….. (noise of noise?)
(shhh. Alliteration is more fun.)
Crabs dragging others back down… into the bucket.
^^Reader: This brings us back, in a small circle,
to the problem of measurement
and moral authority: where exactly is the healthy middle ground?
^-.-^ Curious… “middle ground”??
It is healthy or it is NOT healthy.
Clear delineating line.
This middle ground… this is grayscaling and calling the ambiguous cloud the safe zone,
Certain Realities Are Polarized.
Dichonomies Do Exist.
In the avoidance of “black and white thinking,” as extremes tend to be tyrannical (either direction.) We have softened and blurred the Lenses.
In areas where we require clear boundaries, >>>> the grayscale is not a good tool.
Strange there is such a PUSH for it culturally.
^^Reader: Much of my thinking converges on the idea that change – as you once put it so aptly in the context of setting boundaries – begins in small places.
^-.-^ Ah good! Back to Gardening! Yes, small spaces, much easier to weed a small 20×20 plot, than 10 acres… Boundaries: Weed deterrents, pest control, and fencing!
Btw… (and totally to brag) I had a 10 feet in 10 minutes record on machete for hedge clearing, personal best!!
Making it routine… daily quest…>> daily habits.
Consistency, repetition…. (Musicians call it practice)
Invite other, train to work together, agree to share resources,
It GROWS…
^^Reader: With neighbors, but above all with children.
^-.-^ right, children… as little sponges need to be engaged and included to see their future self via the adults around them modelling and enforcing healthy and appropriate behavior.
If the adults are not adult-ing the children are robbed of that modelling.
My argument is …that it is better to find another source for the need, BY Selecting the adults whose modelling holds healthy and sustainable approaches. I chose different people to admire, be loyal toward and emulate.
My Mother’s dinner lecture (tuned out) Jeopardy Alex Trebek in background (tuned in!)
(My toxic family thought it would be them.
Their modelling/MOLDING… and truncating, root-binding.
They were wrong.
Much teeth gnashing now.)
Not all kids catch on… to >how to tune in to the Better messages<
Sometimes it takes adults, learning how to “re-parent” themselves, re-script/ deprogram the programming, and dismantle the maladaptive brainwashing…
^^Reader: Because they have the chance to be just a little better than the generation before them.
^-.-^ … chance… (random like dice roll?)
I got a different message than chance when I was young… more like Obligation.
“ONLY YOU can stop forest fires.”
I took that bear and his ranger hat very seriously.
Every camp site for my first six years of life!
Informative ….coloring sheets and all!
^^Reader: And that brings me back to the subject of history.
Relative to how long human societies have existed, every process within our collective social consciousness moves comparatively slowly – especially when set against the pace of our technological development.
^-.-^ social consciousness moved slowly… hmm.. Not sure I’m going to agree with the premise.
I think much of what early archeologists and anthropologists did was project contemporary values and prejudices, or convolute through mystification, to inflate their reputation. There is a persistent idea that ancient people were less intelligent, and the modern era is the peak of all civilization and this prejudice slips out a lot.
The oldest language, Sumerian used as a spoken language for 1,500 yrs, and continued to be used as a written language for 2000 yrs. It was replaced as a spoken language by Akkadian which was used for 2,000. Egyptians had a stable language for 3,500 years.
America, founded 250 years ago, in English that has changed. We don’t speak that way anymore.
Ancients “less advanced” yet able to hold cultural congruency for 3000+ years. I think they probably knew something we don’t.
Also there was this whole Dark Ages period, where zealots destroyed much of what was advanced technology. Touched on that a bit with the Flying Buttresses.
Things got really dark in the Dark Ages.
We (humanity) lost the recipe for Roman concrete.
Civilization got structurally less stable, less enduring. Combine that with destructive zealots (btw…idelogical zealots are still here, still trying to burn it all down) are THEY also part of a social consciousness… albeit the self-loathing, anti-social consciousness. “Demented and sad, but social.”
The pace of our technological development has sponsors…
(and as we find out the ideological zealots did/do too.) (shh… enough on the zealots.)
“Industrial Era” much funding directed toward industry and the national cultural identity behind it. In current era, we have STEM (science technology engineering and math) Government based initiatives to grow that sector of skill professionals in the next batch of potential employee/consumers of tomorrow.
Almost like what you direct resources to… grows.
Like gardening, watered plants do better than those left to fend for themselves.
^^Reader: In that gap, I see an enormous sociological as well as spiritual imbalance.
^-.-^ Good to know it’s not just me!
Those Boomer Teens have been driving culture for a while, mall-life and everything. Here it is called “Keeping up with the Jones’s” Newest of new new with name-brands and jingles. They BOUGHT IN…(sold out?) to a purchasable identity.
Hot-Topic vs Abercrombie and Fitch (same mall, different costumes.)
It’s such an inversion from how we (humanity) existed.
That level of luxury and status flexing was rare, very few (Only Royals) could afford to have useless, wasteful, vain, consumers as children, like decadent pets that believed the best in life and perfect comfort were Entitlements.
It wasn’t that long ago, when children understood the routes ahead >>> led to their adult life trades/professions… Yk…. Work.
Spirituality, by my experience, makes more sense, the closer you get to being a spirit.
Grandmothers, for example, have a lot of thoughts on this as they receive notice that their friends list is shorter. (Catholic) Much consideration on What was to come, on the other side of death. Optimism is better than Fear.
There has been a very long process of dismantling Spirituality and Faith.
WE could explore that further if you’d like.
The remedy is easy. Change the radio station/web feed/echo channel… start tuning in. Increase Spiritually around you, find your medium that lets you create Vibrant. Seek out more people and bring them together.
Water what you want to grow.
Thank you for the challenge, Senpai
I can’t wait for the next one.
Traveler Chimiru 
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