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They feel “rejected” by you now.

Gut-putch, cause you know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of rejection. 

You know the pain of it. 

From the lows to the intense:

The mild and tolerable pain of being interrupted, talked over, derailed, steamrolled in conversations.

The rejection of being TLDR’ed in writing, or they give it back with all the red pen “corrections” they made to make it more their word than yours. More their thoughts/than yours. More Them less you.

The set-up rejections when your plans, goals, dreams, ambitions are put on back burner or shelved, because they pushed their agenda and ignored or dismissed yours.  ex. Double booked looks like we drop your goals (again) and (again) until breadcrumbs taste generous.

The rejection in the constant nudges to be more like them or at minimum be “useful” a little yes-men/flying monkeys. If not, prepare for life as a “beating boy.” Targeted for constant provocation.

The rejection of mocking, dismissing, downplaying, marginalizing, diminishing whatever you are into, whatever you are doing with your time (when their ego is not being fed.)

The rejection of breaking vows, breaking oaths, breaking pledges… 

You know this by the “I only cheated on you because…” Blame-shift ..DARVO again.

ex. “Well if you weren’t so…” condemning – demonizing – target practice, with verbal ballistics.

The rejection of making everything a joke, “It wasn’t THAT serious.”

The rejection of constant let down, “I know I said I would… but…”

The rejection of “can’t find time” or “have no time” and never figuring out how > Making Time < works.

The rejection of making the airwaves intolerable with the constant complaints from people who are never happy, never satisfied.More important than any other topic others might want on the table.

The rejection of loud time devouring diatribes about who upset their fragile world this week, or even uglier regurgitation from TV talking heads, because pretending to have “researched” opinions is trending this week.

The IN Your Face rejections, where they reveal their Real feelings and how much they want you “gone from their lives.”   

>>> Really??

They want to spend hours doing that to someone they “love” ???

Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.

AND >>>  IF you don’t want to be captive audience until petulant venting is satisfied (hostage to the un-satisfy-able.) 

THEN your defense or escape is another attack on them. 

Proof (of all the horrible things they made up in their own heads) about you.

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But they FEEL rejected.

And you’re too good of a person to make other people experience the pain of rejection.. Aren’t you?

Yep.

Every one of your virtues will be leveraged. 

Everything you value about yourself, every quality you cultivated… gets twisted and used to leverage your submission.

This is how we re-frame: 

You are NOT making anyone feel anything. Adults regulate their feelings.

Let’s play this IF -THEN game backwards.

IF they were Adults, mature and not at a stage of immaturity or mental illness

aka arrested development -in these facets of interpersonal relationships-

THEN they would treat you as any other adult in society would.

>>> That would be with decency, fairness and respect, (for the newbies.)

Ikr?  Thought they were adults 

>>until you saw the tantrum.  

Mind-boggling.

When they tell you >> When they show you >> Believe them.

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