I am done. No Debate.
My shift has ended.
The contract expired.
My agreed upon years of service are over.
My time “learning” has been served.
I learned not to stay connected to people, places, things that hurt me.
Yeah, hard to see under the “influence” of conditioning and programming not to see.
[I assure you, you can re-program yourself. You just have to recognize the original programming tactics and re-script with the reality of yourself and your own evolution.]
From helpless/dependent to capable/autonomous.
Child to Adult like a metamorphosis brought on by self love.
The start inquiry is:
IF I was raised in a family structure that collectively agreed that their roles, responsibilities and relationships with (any child) (ME) were meant to help (any child) (ME) become my best and fulfill (any child’s)(MY) highest potential >>>>
THEN…they would have provided ___________
they would have recognized____________
they would have encouraged/fostered____________
they would have applauded____________
They would have supported__________
they would have protected __________
they would have valued__________
Since my family did not…
THEN I (autonomous adult) MUST.
My friend Bararba, insisted I call her Ma or Ganny like everyone else does.
I said, Babs, I don’t need a mother. I need a friend and my favorite person in the neighborhood just happens to be older. But I don’t want you mother-ing me and I certainly have no plans of coming toward you if I feel childish and insecure. You’re the last person I wanna put that burden on since you’re Ma to most the neighborhood and your own huge family.
The point: Therapist, Counselors, Life Coaches, Clergy are the Professionals you are seeking.
Most folks try to fix the family scars (relationship scars) by using other people >>> With no Training.
Adopt a pseudo-mother, or worse get romantically involved trying to fix some ghost experience via recreation and performance …
(performance THAT the target/partner never got cued in on or even shown the script, feeling/interpreting ir time, vaguely knowing the words they’re supposed to say…
EXCEPT in my case the target/partner(me) is so far (therapeutically) away from conceding EVER again >[since 2012-2018=learnt it.]>that the absurdity of the arrangement is HUGELY CONSPICUOUS…)
The people that attempt to diminish me (as less than) (less than human) (sub-human.)
>>> It doesn’t take a long incident inventory for me to know what’s up.
I clock it in the first few encounters now-a-days.
It used to take longer. I really didn’t wanna believe what they were SHOWING me. [Denial]
I kept hope-ing (toxic hope) REASON might penetrate… or compassion, self-awareness… any virtue??
(All of that seemed to be there when we met. Disappeared.)
I used to have a long inventory list of other possibilities (antidotes/remedies/cures…)
>Convinced Incurable at this point of testing<
Ready to move on to New Research.
New Topics.
Real friendships. Healthy relationships. Real Love.
AND I let a lot of things slide wasting time >>ruling out all the Excuses/Reasons/Justifications, they gave
>>>> AND the justifying >>I gave pre-emptively when under submission programming.
Yeah, I’m not like that anymore.
They’re right… I did change.
I call it an Upgrade.
This fill in the Blank, works well with hypocrite checks, a word replacement role reversal.
IF we endeavor to have relationships that are healthy, decent, fair and respectful
Then
We would check what we provide
and if found falling short a self inquiry:
If growth, strengthening, increasing…. (AND NOT poisoning, weakening, diminishing)
If Good outcomes were INDEED the GOAL:
I would have recognized____________
I would have encouraged/fostered____________
I would have applauded____________
I would have supported__________
I would have protected __________
I would have valued_______
See how that works?
Super Easy.
Healthy boundaries are about what you take in
AND what you put out.
“If you’re sowing poison, I don’t know why you expect to harvest honey.”
That’s the kind of old saying Barbara would remember her grand and great grandmother’s saying. Hard earned wisdoms of the rugged Appalachian women. Not a lot of sympathy for the city-fied. XD lmao
A re-occurring theme in our grousing and cutting up. “Convenience” not meaning what it oughta, “Drive through tellers, most inconvenient contraptions that banks could devise to turn visits into trials and tribulations.”
Here’s some thoughts on the Heart and what it does.
Hit it robot!
[O_O] 101 Heart Idioms — bright to dark
Spark — flutter, thrill, first notice
- Flutter of the heart
- Heartthrob
- Sweetheart
- Queen of hearts
- Heart-shaped
- Cheerful heart
- Light-hearted
- Young at heart
- Racing heart
- Pounding heart
- Heart skips/misses a beat
- In a heartbeat
- Heartbeat away from
- Heart beating out of my chest
- Steal someone’s heart
- Give your heart to someone
- After my own heart
- Eat your heart out
- Steady heartbeat
- Pulse quickens
Warmth — contentment, home, ease
21. Heart’s desire
22. Follow your heart
23. Set your heart on
24. Heart’s content
25. Heart’s ease
26. Home is where the heart is
27. Warm the cockles of your heart
28. Melt someone’s heart
29. Heart-warming
30. Close to my heart
31. Near and dear to my heart
32. Heartbeat of the city
Devotion — sincerity, vow, full commitment
33. Heartfelt
34. Speak from the heart
35. From the bottom of my heart
36. With all my heart
37. Whole-hearted
38. Single-hearted
39. With a full heart
40. Heart and soul
41. Put your heart and soul into it
42. Pledge one’s heart
43. Heart’s oath
44. Cross my heart (and hope to die)
45. Word from the heart
46. Know it in your heart
47. Heart tells me
48. True heart / true-hearted
49. Honest heart
50. Pure of heart
51. Open-hearted
52. Sing your heart out
Character — virtue, courage, good faith
53. Big-hearted
54. Kind-hearted
55. Compassionate heart
56. Tender-hearted
57. Soft-hearted
58. Have heart / have a heart
59. Stout-hearted
60. Lion-hearted
61. Take heart
62. Hope springs eternal (in the human heart)
63. Heartened
64. Heart of gold
65. Heart in the right place
66. Heart of the matter
67. Heart of hearts
68. In your heart of hearts
Threshold — transition, uncertainty, held breath
69. Change of heart
70. Learn by heart
71. Heart-to-heart
72. Heart-to-heart talk
73. Take something to heart
74. Have the heart to
75. Not have the heart to
76. Heart-stopping (moment)
77. Heart in your mouth
78. Heart stopped
79. Wear your heart on your sleeve
Waning — hesitation, fear, giving out
80. Half-hearted
81. Faint of heart
82. Weak-hearted
83. Chicken-hearted
84. Disheartened
85. Lose heart
Ache — grief, mourning, the pour
86. Sick at heart / heartsick
87. Heavy-hearted
88. Heartache
89. Heart-wrenching / heart-rending
90. Cry your heart out
91. Cry from the heart
92. Bleeding heart
93. Pour your heart out
94. Heartstrings (pull/tug at)
95. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Cold — hardened, closed, dark
96. Heart of stone
97. Cold-hearted
98. Hard-hearted
99. Heart of darkness
End
100. Break someone’s heart
101. Heartless
Traveler Chimiru 
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